52 LITERATURE “Well, she looks just like you!” We exchanged an uncomfortable look as Mary Anne trotted off to get our drinks. “She seems nice,” I said. “She’s a good waitress,” Dad said. He nodded stiffly. I drummed my fingers on the counter and wiggled my foot back and forth absent-mindedly. “Thank you for letting me stay with you,” I said softly. “It means a lot.” “Least I could do.” “I was close to telling you something last time we played,” I said, keeping my voice low. “Sure,” Bee said, still sounding a little shaken. “It’s serious though,” I said, raising my eyebrows. The camera clicked over and over. “Really. I’m not kidding. It’s not about me being embarrassed, or worried what people will think. It’s much bigger than that.” She looked up from the viewfinder and blinked. “If you tell people what I’m about to tell you, it will end me.” “I won’t tell,” Bee said quietly. The look on her face was the most serious I had ever seen her wear. “You promise?” “I promise.” “Okay,” I said, scooting back to my side and looking out at the grass shivering in the wind as it gave in to the inevitability of winter. I breathed cool air in through my nose, held it, and poured it back out between my teeth. Now was my chance to stop. But I didn’t. “I’m transsexual.” For a moment, Bee didn’t say anything. Then she spoke. “Do I have your permission to take a few more photos?” she asked. “I have some questions, but the way you look right now is really important to me and I want to keep it.” I nodded. The camera clicked faster than ever and then suddenly stopped. I felt a wave of naked warmth climb up my neck and down from my shoulders as she lowered the camera and stared at me. “I’ve never met anybody like you,” she said. “Most people haven’t,” I said. I was surprised my voice wasn’t shakier. I looked down at my hands and saw they were relatively still. “Or at least they don’t know they have.” “Okay,” Bee said, nodding slowly. “I’ve seen … what’s the word? Transgendered?” “‘Trans people’ is best,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve seen trans people in movies and TV shows, but judging by how unrealistic and shitty bi characters tend to be, I’m gonna assume I know nothing. So what’s okay for me to ask?” “Don’t ask about my genitals,” I said, balling up my skirt and looking up at the clouds. “Just don’t.” “Wouldn’t matter,” Bee said, shrugging. “Thanks.” I bit my lip. “Don’t ask about surgeries. Don’t ask what my name used to be. That’s pretty much it.” 4 1 How is Amanda’s father coping with this situation? Underline the parts that show the ‘awkwardness’ of the situation. 2 Which actions in this scene are routine for her father, and which are new to him? How can you tell? Later on, Amanda makes friends with Bee, another student. In the following scene, as Bee takes photographs of her, Amanda decides to tell Bee what she’s been hiding. Read the extract and discuss the questions that follow. 6 1 What do you think about Bee’s reaction? 2 How are Bee’s feelings different to those of Amanda’s father? Amanda starts to date Grant, a kind and understanding student at her school who doesn’t yet know about her past. Read the extract on the next page and discuss the questions that follow. 7 Nur zu Prüfzwecken – Eigentum des Verlags öbv
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