Let’s talk it over Read the definition and talk together. 1 Do you ever have to mediate between friends, family or people in school? Give examples. 2 What skills and qualities do you think a good mediator needs? mediate [*mi"dieIt] [I or T] verb to talk to two separate people or groups involved in a disagreement to try to help them to agree or find a solution to their problems: Negotiators were called in to mediate between the two sides. Reading 14 T F 1 People often try mediation at the suggestion of lawyers and the police. 2 There are usually two mediators at a mediation meeting. 3 A mediator’s job is to listen carefully and suggest compromises. 4 A mediation meeting can often take five or six hours. 5 Mediators need to have good communication skills. Read the interview to check. b Can you give us an example of what you do? Recently I did a mediation between two families living in neighbouring houses. In one of the families, the father had a passion for restoring old cars. He’d work on these cars outside until quite late at night, and the front garden was full of bits of old car, oil cans and the like. The other family hated the noise and the mess but – as quite often happens, I’m afraid – they simply put up with the problem and hoped it would go away. This went on for some years until they finally complained to the police – and then of course the relationship between the neighbours broke down completely. How do you, the mediator, get involved? Some people seek mediation independently, but many come to us on the recommendation of the police, doctors or lawyers. In this case, it was the police. Once we got into mediation, the families came to an agreement very quickly. The car enthusiast agreed to tidy the garden and not to work on his cars so late, and both families agreed to be more open and honest with each other in future. Like most people we see in mediation, these were basically reasonable people who just needed to sit down together and talk things over in a structured way. How many people are usually involved in a mediation? There are usually two mediators and ideally we should be visibly different – male and female, different ages, different ethnicities – as this often reflects the participants themselves. We invite each participant to bring along a supporter, who can be anyone who knows what’s been happening. Sometimes they bring two supporters along, but each side must have the same number so there’s a perceived balance of power. What does the mediator actually do? As a mediator, you’re responsible for everything and nothing! On the one hand, you set up and guide the discussion at all times. On the other hand, mediators never suggest, advise or problem-solve. The purpose of mediation is to allow the participants to come up with solutions for themselves. If people feel you favour one side or the other, they’ll lose confidence in you. How long does it take? A session won’t usually last longer than two hours. If people haven’t sorted out their differences after that, then they’re not going to, at least on that occasion! It also gets difficult for mediators to keep up their concentration. What does it take to be a good mediator? You have to be able to listen and ask questions which show how people are feeling and what the real problems are. From time to time, you summarise what they say: “So, you’re upset because …”. When they see things from a distance, objectively and without emotion, they can begin to move towards a solution. A mediator recognises moments of change, when people face up to reality and are ready to compromise – for instance, the moment when they stop looking at the mediator and start looking at each other. Whenever I see that, I think, “That’s it. Job done.” Real professionals: The Mediator Conflicts at work, family feuds, neighbourly disagreements … Isobel Clark has over 20 years’ experience of workplace, relationship and community mediation. You’re going to read an interview with a professional mediator, Isobel Clark. Do you think these statements are true (T) or false (F)? 15 a Language skills Extras Explore 7 Companies 91 Nur zu Prüfzwecken – Eigentum des Verlags öbv
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